It’s a process that takes time but it’s totally workable and I’ve seen it plenty of times in my practice as a therapist.” 5. “The moment people start making sense of what happened to them and why and that it’s not their fault, then they start loving themselves more and understanding themselves. Practice self-loveĪccording to Dimitrios Pexaras, LPCC, “The key to not feeling lonely comes from working on self-love and self-awareness and treatment of trauma.” You can read more about post-traumatic growth here. In fact, many people notice positive changes emerging along their healing journey - such as improved relationships, a greater sense of personal strength, or deeper spiritual connections. But, if you believe that things can improve, that you can learn to find connection and belonging, then there’s always a chance that things will get better.” “If you believe that you are stuck in loneliness and nothing can change (which would be a fixed mindset), then you are probably right. This mindset is about focusing on growth and improving over time. Shumway also stresses the importance of a growth mindset, a term coined by Dr. “And maybe you’ll learn to shake those old traumatic beliefs and replace them with new ones through corrective emotional experiences.” 3. Maybe you’ll meet people who care about people, who can give you love and care,” says Shumway. “Be willing to take risks, meet new people, and let others into your life. There are many types of therapy for trauma, with cognitive processing therapy being a common choice.
“Therapy is the first line of treatment and the most effective way to work through the pain caused by trauma.” “You don’t have to do this alone,” he says. To overcome adult loneliness from childhood trauma, psychologist Kyler Shumway, PsyD, recommends finding a therapist who specializes in trauma.
#Childhood trauma how to#
How to heal loneliness after childhood trauma 1. “The impact is lasting whether it was a one-time event, several occurrences, or the child grew up in toxic environments where they weren’t sure what version of their parent/guardian they were going to get at any given moment,” Phillips explains. Adverse early experiences ranging from a single incident to complex trauma can leave lingering effects. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all threshold at which childhood trauma changes the way you relate to others.
“These are vital for a child to feel safe and secure.” “Childhood trauma most likely means that as a child, there were adults that were not safe, consistent, or emotionally mature,” Phillips adds. If the trauma happened in the context of a close relationship, it makes sense that you have trouble trusting other people later in life. This means that you feel a deep need to avoid situations that remind you of the trauma. When we experience trauma, the brain and nervous system adapt to protect themselves. It rewires the brain and completely shifts how we perceive the world - especially when it comes to relationships,” says Candin Phillips, LPC.Ĭhildhood trauma can have a range of causes, such as abuse, neglect, or a serious accident. “Childhood trauma impacts us at our core. “This leads to self-destructive behavior: the survivor avoids connecting with others, then people start to think the survivor doesn’t want to connect, which makes the survivor’s worries that much stronger,” Frick says. You may also experience a fear of being hurt if you get too close to others. “Often, people who’ve been through trauma experience difficulty opening up to others and trusting them, especially if they weren’t supported or believed if they talked to someone about their trauma,” she adds. This included social and emotional loneliness.Īs Jessica Frick, LPC, explains, “Trauma significantly affects the brain and how it processes threats - survivors are often more watchful and consider people threatening more often.” This is known as hypervigilance. How childhood trauma can lead to adult lonelinessĬhildhood trauma can lead to loneliness in adulthood because of the way it impacts your social interactions and ability to form meaningful connections.Īccording to a 2018 study, people who had experienced childhood or adulthood trauma reported higher loneliness-related distress than those without a trauma history.
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